Friday, October 5, 2007

How to Say Sorry to Him

Your man and you just had a fight. It could have been sorted out there and then, but the situation was such that none of you felt like talking. Now, you are in your room, sulking alone. You wish you could turn back time and made everything okay by apologizing to him. You are totally clueless about how to say sorry to him. This is where we come in the scene as we bring you creative and meaningful ways for saying sorry to a guy. Read on further to know why is it said that actions speak louder than words!

  • Guys do not prefer sitting down immediately after a fight and talk about it. They are usually raging inside and you can get a taste of their bad attitude if you force them to listen to you.
  • Leave your man alone to give him time to cool down. Do not bother him with phone calls or text messages. Most of the times guys are ones who call up to talk things out.
  • Wait for a day or two. Then go to their place and sort things out. Again, make sure he hasn't had a bad day at work or any other sort of thing that has him in low spirits.
  • Contrary to what some people think, guys like flowers too. It is absolutely cool to give your man flowers and make him good dinner to make him feel special.
  • Make sure you pamper him and tell him how much you love him after you apologize. Spend some cozy moments together and let him know that he is special and means a lot to you.

How to Say Sorry to Her

You have had your first big fight with her and it is all a big mess. Now you are wondering as to how to say sorry to her. You love her a lot and wouldn't want to lose her for a lame reason like a fight. Saying sorry to girl never killed anyone! Yet, somehow it is never too easy to utter the word "Sorry". Swallow your ego and bury your pride in the backyard. Apologizing to her is all about making her feel special. Read on further about some ideas to say sorry to her and trust me, it is all for the better.

  • Analyze the situation. Don't force her to accept your apology if she has still not relaxed. It can only make the situation worse.
  • Let her calm down and approach her when she is cool enough to talk again.
  • Never ever apologize on the phone or the Internet. It is way too impersonal and shows how insensitive you are. If you have a problem facing her and talking, then write her a letter and deliver it yourself. Wait outside until she reads it fully.
  • Accept your mistake and get done with it as soon as possible. Don't go over the situation and what caused the fight again and again.
  • If she asks for time, don't hesitate. Ask her what you can do to make her feel better and be genuine. Your feelings have to be heartfelt. Always remember, a woman can see through fake feelings.
  • A bunch of flowers or a small gift can help a lot in making a woman feel better and cared of. And you have better chances of patching up again!

How to Say Sorry

Any relation is bound to have its highs and lows. Sometimes the lows are so low that you end up in a fight. The agony of sulking and being away from your partner is worse than going to Hell. You seem to be blank about how to say sorry. Patching up after a fight has never been so difficult. Read on further to find out ways to apologize to your partner and get your relationship back on track.

Though it may seem odd at first, saying sorry to a loved one has its own benefits. You become more understanding and more tolerant of each other. You can tackle those petty issues that keep cropping up between the two of you without making a big fuss about it. Given below are a few tips to make it even more genuine and romantic.

  • Make sure you don't make a big fuss about saying sorry. It is just one word and remember, it can either make or break your relationship.
  • Say it with flowers and anything that your partner loves. If she loves dancing, take her out for a slow dance and say you are sorry while she is dancing in your arms. If he loves bowling, go out for a game together and tell him when he has finished striking all pins that you are sorry.
  • Never start arguing as to who started the fight first. No use looking back on something that is just not worth. Else, you will be back on square one.
  • Make sure you are genuinely sorry for your mistakes. Don't try to fake up feelings just for the heck of it. Remember, it could happen to you too someday.
  • Value your partner. Learn to respect his/her feelings and don't do things to hurt him/her deliberately.

Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know

by Annie Kaszina
1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.

Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person’s work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.

The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.

2. You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.

3. You’re more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you’ve been treated? Have you found yourself asking: “Is it reasonable to feel like this?” “Am I misinterpreting things?” “Have I got it wrong?”

If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you’ve stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can’t feel the strength of your own convictions.

4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they’ve said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they’ve caused?

Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?
When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.

5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.

You do everything you can to make him happy, but it’s never good enough. You’re more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he’ll be charmed, often he’s dismissive.

If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.

6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.

7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can’t do it, because her partner is working against her.

Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.

But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.

Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.

Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.

“The Woman You Want To Be” is a unique workbook designed to accompany you on a year long journey into emotional health and happiness.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.
Email:annie@EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.emotionalabuserecoverynow.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Annie_Kaszina

bulldogs





Appearance


The bulldog is a stocky breed, with a compact body and short, sturdy limbs. Its shape results in a peculiarly unique gait. Bulldogs are known for their short muzzles and the saggy skin on their faces, creating the apparent "frown" that has become a trademark of the breed. Bulldogs come in a variety of colours and ideally have a smooth, short coat. In the US, the size of a typical mature male is about 50 pounds; that for mature females is about 40 pounds. In the United Kingdom, the breed standard is 55 pounds for a male and 50 pounds for a female.


Temperament and characteristics

The temperament of the Bulldog is generally docile, friendly and gregarious but are known to be fiercely loyal. Breeders have worked to breed aggression out of the breed, and as such the dog is known to be of generally good temperament. Bulldogs can be so attached to home and family that they will not venture out of the yard without a human companion. Due to their friendly nature bulldogs are known for getting along well with children, other breeds of dog and any house-broken pet in general.
A bulldog is suitable for houses as well as apartments due to their size and comparative lack of energy, but puppies may be destructive until they reach maturity.


Health

The bulldog is prone to some health issues but no more so than most other pure breed dogs. Breathing issues can be prevalent in the breed due to the shape of the lower jaw and the shortness of muzzle - bulldogs are known to snore. In the United Kingdom, some dogs can be prone to interstitial cysts, that is cysts which form between the toes. These cause the dog some discomfort, though they are treatable either by vet or an experienced owner. Other problems can include cherry eye, certain allergies and amongst older bulldogs, hip issues.


Because of the large heads in proportion to body size, puppies are frequently delivered by Caesarean section as they can get stuck in the birth canal during natural birth, however it is not uncommon for a bulldog bitch to whelp naturally and successfully.


Bulldogs require daily cleaning of their face folds to avoid unwanted infections caused by moisture accumulation. Daily teeth brushing with a regular human soft toothbrush using a vet approved toothpaste is also recommended.


Like all dogs, Bulldogs require daily exercise. If not properly exercised the bulldog could gain weight, which could cause health problems relating to the lungs and heart. Bulldogs are extremely sensitive to heat and great care should be given to the dog during overly warm periods. During these times, ensure the dog has plenty of shade, water and should be ideally kept out of standing heat.


As the breed has developed, the tail in some dogs can be tight to the body and can cause infection if not treated or cleaned underneath regularly.

History

The term "bulldog" was first used around 1568[1] and might have been applied to various ancestors of modern bulldog breeds.


The oldest single breed specialty club is The Bulldog Club (England), which was formed in 1875. Members of this club met frequently at the Blue Post pub on Oxford Street in London. There they wrote the first standard of perfection for the breed. In 1891 the two top bulldogs, Orry and Dockleaf, competed in a contest to see which dog could walk the farthest. King Orry was reminiscent of the original bulldogs — lighter boned and very athletic. Dockleaf was smaller and heavier set — more like modern bulldogs. Dockleaf was declared the winner that year. Although some argued that the older version of the bulldog was more fit to perform, the modern version’s looks won over the fans of the breed because they proved they were equally as fit and athletic in the walking competition.


Recently, many people have tried to recreate a breed more akin to the original bullbaiter. Examples of the trend are the Olde Englishe Bulldogge, Renascence Bulldog, Victorian, Continental and Dorset Old Tyme Bulldog. The AKC does not recognize any of these newly "recreated" breeds of dogs.

facts about coffee

Coffee is enjoyed as a drink by millions of people world-wide and has been for at least a thousand years। It contains caffeine, which is a mild stimulant, and in many people coffee drinking enhances alertness, concentration and mental and physical performance. Although it contains a wide variety of substances, it is generally accepted that caffeine is responsible for many of coffee’s physiological effects. Because caffeine influences the central nervous system in a number of ways and because a small number of people may be particularly sensitive to these effects, some people have attributed all sorts of health problems to coffee. Caffeine is not recognised as a drug of abuse and there is no evidence for caffeine dependence. Some particularly sensitive people may suffer mild symptoms of withdrawal after sudden abstention from coffee drinking. A 150 ml cup of instant coffee contains about 60mg caffeine and filter coffee contains about 85 mg. For those who like coffee but are sensitive to caffeine, the decaffeinated beverage contains only 3 mg per cup.

There is no sound evidence that modest consumption of coffee has any effects on the outcomes of pregnancy or on the wellbeing of the infant। In the UK, the Food Standards Agency issued guidelines for caffeine intake during pregnancy with an upper limit of 300mg/day. This figure is in line with that stated in 1999 by the EU Scientific Committee on Food who said that 'While intakes up to 300mg/day appear to be safe, the question of possible effects on pregnancy and the offspring at regular intakes above 300mg/day remains open. Despite a small negative effect on calcium balance which can easily be made up from other dietary sources there is no evidence that this is translated into any effect on bone health. It has been known for over 100 years that coffee drinking can help asthma sufferers by improving ventilatory function. There is no evidence that coffee increases the risk of cancer of the female breast, ovary, pancreas or kidney. It is now accepted that the small increased risk of bladder cancer sometimes associated with coffee drinking is primarily caused by cigarette smoking. There is also evidence that coffee protects against colon cancer and preliminary evidence that it protects against male breast cancer.

There is no evidence that coffee increases the risk of heart disease। Moderate consumption of coffee does not increase cardiac arrhythmias. In some sensitive individuals, ingestion of coffee after a period of abstinence may cause a temporary rise in blood pressure but there is no persistent hypertensive effect in the long term. Coffee made by the Scandinavian method of boiling or by the cafetiere method may cause mild elevation of plasma cholesterol concentration in some people but instant and filter coffee have no such effects. Although coffee elevates plasma homocysteine levels this effect is not large enough to have a significant effect on the risk of heart disease.

There is no evidence that coffee promotes indigestion in the majority of people। Although coffee is known to increase heartburn this effect is not large enough to justify advising people with gastro-oesophageal reflux disease to abstain from drinking coffee. There is no evidence that coffee increases the risk of developing peptic ulcer disease. There is some evidence that coffee may protect against gallstone disease.

Caffeine is a mild diuretic but scientific studies do not support the idea that caffeinated beverages exaggerate dehydration and electrolyte loss caused by exercise। There is some evidence that coffee may protect against the development of kidney stones. Evidence is growing that coffee might protect against the development of Parkinson’s disease and a few studies suggest that it might also protect against Alzheimer’s disease. The relationship between coffee consumption and diabetes is an area of active investigation but no clear picture has emerged so far. Available evidence suggests that coffee might also protect against liver cirrhosis.

Coffee has a much higher total in-vitro antioxidant activity than other commonly consumed beverages. This is due in part to intrinsic compounds of coffee such as chlorogenic acid, in part to compounds formed during coffee bean roasting such as melanoidins and in part to as yet unidentified compounds. It is widely believed that antioxidants protect against the development of chronic diseases including heart disease and cancer but whether the antioxidants characteristic of coffee have such effects remains to be determined

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